best!

sometimes i m quite amazed by myself also..the way i procrastinate..i really leave things to literally the last min,or last second sometimes..tml there's a lab report due and i have not started now and i m still here writing my blog..but tt is not the best part..the best part is tt most ppl who dunno me well(and few ppl do) will think tt i m a mugger..i m really the best example of 'dun judge a book by its cover'..last time i m quite annoyed when ppl say i m a mugger and stuff but i have long since taken on a heck care attitude with this kind of naive-but-like-to-think-they-know-u-so-well ppl..i'm lazy to say anything in contrary to them and wld normally just smile lamely and nod my head with their comments..what's the point trying to make ppl understand u when they refuse to believe their ears rather than their eyes..ok i've talked too much..shld start my lab report now..dunno if i shld jus do a sloppy job and get more time to slp..feel like doing tt..

who can i blame but myself?

i feel bad..i m a bad person..i know i m a bad person but i don't want to change which makes me even worse than bad..i feel like i m having 0 willpower..i feel like sleeping forever,to escape all i need to do..i don't feel like using my brains..i don't feel like doing things that i don't like doing..which includes a lot of things..i feel like lying on my bed and doing nothing..i don't want to be disliked by my group members but i don't feel like working to prevent that..i feel like i m going towards doom..i want to close my eyes..my body is tired and my mind too..i cannot gather anymore strength now..i cannot even continue typing..

change is for the better..or so i hope..

it's 3 hours since i wrote that entry and now i can write on my blog again!though my com is a bit lag now,because of the number of things i m trying to do at the same time,i hope?i m trying to install microsoft office and anti-virus software and windows update (86 updates) and transferring my files from hard disk to laptop,all at the same time..i reformatted not because of any major faults but jus cause my internet is a bit haywire,disconnecting every 5 min and webpages and videos loading very slowly..anyway there's no point regretting since i have already reached this point of no return..just hope that i can successfully install all the basic stuff by tonight..which seems like a challenge now that the installations have been stagnant for quite a while already -_-..good luck to me..

it's now or never..

ok maybe the title is too extreme..but i m taking one big risk now..i need to reformat my com!have been wanting to do this since like 1 month ago but i dun have the recovery disk and i cannot find a way to reformat without the disk..yesterday i finally did the tedious job of going to get the disk from my sch shop (and it was made even longer because the person was busy and forgot to call me to get the disk)..there are so many changes recently,and not small changes in fact..my room is completely refurbished..with a new bed (i didn't have a bed previously,just a mattress),a new wardrobe (i shared with my mum previously),a new study table (i had a makeshift one previously..those kind which can be folded up for convenient storage..and i often had to clear my table so that it can be used for other purposes)..new cupboards all for me to put MY own stuff (well of course some are still used to put my dad and my bros' stuff..but not complaining since i have my own room in the first place)..

ok anyway i tink i shld go start it now..dunno how long it will take..hope all goes well and i dun need to spend tml (my only free day until sch reopen) to go to sch and get my laptop repaired or wat..-_- choi choi..

boom boom..

the world is really big..things that u dunno exist are happening everywhere..so many problems come from inventions and creations that ppl created for the benefit of ppl initially..humans are really problem seekers i mus say..anyway i solved my youtube blank screen problem by clearing my cache..and i was searching to learn abt how view counts in youtube work (cos i wanted to increase views counts of miinah obviously)..and they are like a million articles abt it..with one particularly heated discussion..apparently ppl use it for profit (related to advertisement and stuff) but i didn't really read it in detail..and i thought i wun get much result from that search!

anyway this is the suju week and i dun tink i can get any work done though i wan to and need to..my mind is telling me to do it but my heart is controlling me not to..so apparently my heart is the one controlling my actions,not my mind..which is ridiculous..i know i m crapping right now..

listening to (in my mind)(or heart?): Boom Boom by Super Junior

sorry sorry, but it's bonamana's time..

E.L.F.s are powerful!as expected,we did it!more than 1 million views in 2 days (which cld have been a lot more if there weren't others reuploading the video of course)..i m so proud of all of us!=D but let's not slack..cos that's jus the first step to beating gee..but i have faith in all of us!let's show the world who is the most popular in the kpop industry!muahaha..

i wanted to watch suju's comeback stage on music bank at 11.20pm (cos i had work so cld not watch the one at 4.50pm)..but i can't wait anymore..i tink i will jus watch on youtube..otherwise i might die of waiting and excitement..woohoo..let's create a typhoon in the kpop world now!

listening to: Miinah by Super Junior

miinah..

sry that i m spamming again but wat's the first thing i did when i reach home?on my com and press on SuJu's newest mv so that i can wait for it to load and then watch it 1 hour later..not kidding..my youtube these days are mad..30 seconds to load 2 seconds..i've loaded the video since 7.45pm and it hasn't finish loading..i m going to bathe first i think..

anyway just to leave a record again..170,000 views in 9 hours..we can do it man!if we keep up with this,we reach half a million in 1 day and a million in 2..that means we can beat Gee in a month!let's do it man!ok getting too excited again..

listening to (in my head): Miinah by Super Junior

miinah aka bonamana aka beauty?

i dun care what u wan to call it..main point is,the mv is out tml!when i m at work probably..i can't rmb the last time i was so excited about something..anyway this is the first time i m so mad about an idol..i thought i had betrayed on them by watching SHINee videos instead of theirs but their impending comeback really ignited the excitement fire in me (omg i can't believe i said that..pardon for my bad english and weird choice of expression)..i feel like the other E.L.F.s,camping in front of their computer just to wait for the mv to release (and some were saying it's already uploaded on SM's channel cos they logged in 7 hours ago..so someone shld hack it to get it haha)..i really love all those fan comments..it made my fandom experience in kpop more enjoyable,reading those hilarious comments and sometimes seemingly lame and stupid..but i can totally understand them..cos i m one of them!ah but i shld be sleeping now otherwise i will slp during work tml..and i haven't written my internship report (which i shld have done just now but i was too busy watching SuJu videos of EunTeuk and Heechul 'dancing' to bonamana on their radio show + reading SuJu articles + checking if they are stilling the trending topic + trial listening to boost their listeners' rates etc..

and another thing..there's this thing that ppl are saying,asking ppl not to reupload the videos because it reduces the no. of views at SM's channel..seriously..that was wat i was feeling too..y wld u wan to reupload a video and some more in a lower quality when there is one official one already?i cld only get 1 ans..they wan to boost their own videos' viewership ratings..so i tink the ppl shld concentrate more on asking ppl to watch on SM's channel rather than asking ppl not to upload..anyway those ppl who do reupload,if they are E.L.F.s,they are really insensible i mus say..i really thought their teaser will break 1 million by 3 days or something when i saw that the 1st 16 hours had like 250,000 viewers..but this was made impossible by the HUGE number of reuploads..the highest one even having 30,000++ viewers (currently)..i m really hoping that this wun happen for the mv tho i know it will anyway..i wan them to beat SNSD's gee no matter wat..argh!ok i shld stop whining and go to slp now..BONAMANA!

listening to: Bonamana by Super Junior

bonamana..

wanted to write a long entry about my first internship day but now i m too tired to do anything much..i just want to say that working life is sad..let's do some maths here..9.5 hours working hours,8 hours of sleep..so we are left with 6.5 hours..1 hour for getting to work,1 hour for coming home (and it is actually more than that actually,considering walking,waiting,traffic jam etc)..4.5 hours left..1 hour for getting up and breakfast etc,1 hour for bathing,1 hour for dinner..so we have 1.5 hour left..to do whatever you still have strength to do..and i wanted to exercise 1 hour everyday this hols..i dun tink that will be feasible anymore..but i need to gather some determination and will to do it anyway..starting from tml..hehe-_-

anyway we shldn't talk abt these things..cos the title is SuJu's new song that was just released today!i love the strength and power of E.L.F.s,bringing the song to like the most discussed thing on so many websites..and i m really quite surprised at the popularity of kpop idols in america also..are those who like them like Asians or the Caucasians?anyway ok out of point..i m currently playing it on repeat whether it is because i like the song or simply because i wan to support SuJu..the melody is not bad to be honest..but i dun like the 电音 part because i dun quite like loud and noisy music..and basically it covers what they are singing..the first time i heard it i could only identify siwon (1st part) and ryeowook's voice..then i read the comments and realised that the 3rd person singing is kyuhyun..totally horrified that i didn't recognise it because kyuhyun's voice is very recognisable usually,being so low and warm and soothing and blah blah..but the thing i want to say is that ryeowook's voice is outstanding (literally,in a good way)..i mean even the 电音 couldn't cover the uniqueness of his voice..i dun think there's anything in the world that can cover it..and wat's more exciting than that?he has a solo song in the album!and kyuhyun and yesung got a song together too..ok i m listening to those first no matter what..

anyway if u wan to show support to SuJu,pls go here and support them through trial listen..it helps in their rankings in various music shows..really happy that i can do something to show my support for them since i m relatively new to the kpop scene..currently i m repeatedly listening to the song on trial listening websites..the gd thing is u dun need to understand korean to do it because u jus have to press the song name to listen to it..just follow the instructions on the website i gave..i m seriously hoping the music bank episode shown in singapore kbs world is the live one from korean so that i can watch SuJu on TV (literally,and not jus on computer screen) for the first time..i've been waiting for that since the day i started liking them..currently still haven't caught them on TV (that is,on kbs world since that's the only korean channel in s'pore..o other than arirang tv that is)..only saw Lee Hyori and Rain on the last music bank episode..and Kara and Beast on Star goldren bell challenge..ok digressed again..no matter what i m watching music bank on TV on friday even if my bro kills me for not letting him watch his shows..i can't possibly miss the chance of watching their comeback on TV can I?i might kill myself for it..

ok i tink i m getting too excited abt it already..wrote a super long entry even though i said i m tired in the first sentence of the entry haha..anyway it has been 1 hour since i wrote that first sentence haha..(and i had been repeating bonamana for the past 1 hour)..

listening to: Bonamana by Super Junior

how do you get 250,000 views for your video in 16 hours? (part 2)

sry tt i have to write another entry so soon but now it's 280,000 already..that means in the past hour 30,000 ppl viewed it..of course i mean it will be less than that because some ppl (actually most) will be viewing it REPEATEDLY..then maybe some will need to refresh their browser like me because my internet sucks..ok but point is..this is mad!but it's gd!let all E.L.F.s work together towards pushing their new mv viewership rates to even higher than Sorry Sorry!i m not anti-snsd or wat but i dun like the fact that Sorry Sorry actually loses to Gee for that..how can it be!ok i m lame..

how do you get 250,000 views for your video in 16 hours?

by being Super Junior..because that is what they achieved for their new mv teaser..i dunno if that is considered normal in the kpop world or wat..but to me it is scary..and it is because it has been more than a year since their last album!ah can't wait for their new song..hope it's good..and hope there are nice ballads in the album with lots of kyuhyun and ryeowook too =D

added at 2.40am: i have to say embarassedly that i cannot differentiate some of them in the teaser though.i rmb once when i read a youtube comment saying,"if u can't even recognise each and every member of SuJu,don't say that u are their fan/u like them" or something along those lines..and that made me put in effort to recognise them and match their names to faces that is..haha to me at that time it was like 'wow' impossible cos i started knowing them thru SJM and that only had 5 members of SuJu..i cld recognise the 5 there but the others?i dun even know their names..after watching a lot of videos (plus rewatching and pausing at certain seconds) and scanning thru comments which are helpful in pointing out different members,i finally managed to it..the challenge was also that they changed style every other day -_- SM likes to do this to their artistes..recognising them in that particular style does not mean u can do so to when it comes to their another album style..and this is made worse by some members having similar features (those more pretty looking ones are harder to differentiate..unlike more manly ones)..

anyway i crapped too much..for this new miinah (still dunno what that means) teaser,at the final standing pose scene,i can't differentiate among leeteuk,heechul,sungmin,eunhyuk and donghae..wow that is like half the group..i get a rough idea of who is who..but not sure if it's correct..need more hints by studying the middle parts of the video and using their clothes to differentiate them..best way!

do it do it chu..

ok random title.it's cos currently f(x)'s chu melody is stuck in my head..esp tt line..anyway now there are a lot of things that i want to/need to do..

1) bathe/eat dinner/slp
my mother just repeated that again with a tone that u know u dun wan to mess with her..esp since i haven't slept for 30 hours (o just now on the bus i tink i slept for 20 min)..

2) learn korean
this long postponed thing needs to be caught up with and with more commitment..i tink one possible and probable big distraction is going to watch korean videos instead of learning the lang properly

3) do the shinee page
i really wanted to do it so much that i kept thinking abt it anywhere anytime..but this requires not only commitment but also hard work i guess..finding good videos of performances is hard..

4) clean up my room
since i haven't done that since last sem..i tink my mum will 'help' me with this (a.k.a throwing away 90% of my things away)..

5) read up on solar panels
so that i dun go to intern on monday without knowing what i m doing and then end up getting scolded..

anyway just now i went to watch 叶问2 with my frens..really weird cos i wasn't really that close to them and i was 1 of the only 2 girls there..it's a nice show though..and i m 'back-watching' 叶问 now (or i mean later..cos i really need to go bathe right after i write finish this)..i must say i m a bit of a 民族主义者 thx to my father and so it was 震撼人心 to watch all those parts where he won the angmoh (and for the 1st one is against japanese)..i must say i like 中国武术 more than those angmoh boxing stuff cos they are 轻巧 and emphasize more on skills and speed rather than power..dunno whether it's cos i m a chinese that i m biased (probably anyway haha)..and like 叶问 said..we got our values like humility and respect that is er..more rare in the western world?..not trying to 贬低 anybody here but i m just saying i m proud to be a chinese and i like chinese having all those traditional values (though they may be bother sometimes haha) and i can't understand y some young chinese dun like it and hate being chinese for it..

ok too long and digressed..

listening to (in my head): Chu by f(x)

another 5 hours..

and it will be the end of exams..i finally finished writing my helpsheet..decided to start on my untouched tutorials now..probably not going to slp..jus like last year (year 1 sem 2) when i was in hall..i just studied till the last min then went to exam hall (abt 2min walk away from my hall) and i left early for that exam and went back to slp (cos tt day i had another paper in evening)..in hall no parents to regulate so i cld stay up without feeling anxious or wat..

but anyway i m feeling super awake now..as always..everytime i stay up overnight i feel awake..but i know i will die later in the afternoon..anyway i dunno this is the how many times i m saying it on my blog..but i m SO dead for this exam..cos i m crapping here when i have only 1 hour left to START my tutorials and i only understood 30% of wat i read (lecture notes) just now and probably rmb like 10% of it only?and i didn't read what the lecturer told us specifically to read..which means it is going to come up in any case..so good luck to me again..will come back when i finish..to celebrate end of exams and to grieve for end of my life..

listening to: 就站在这里 by 小宇 on radio

this has been a sem of lack of self-discipline..

first time i use a whole sentence as title..but that is how i feel like now..i quite 佩服 myself now for my 自大ness..i m left with 5.5 hours to exam and i just started writing the cheat sheet and i m still doing random things like writing on my blog..without a reasonable amt of worriedness at all..how can i be so calm when i haven't done my tutorial for the whole sem for this upcoming module?(not tt i have done any for other modules)..anyway it's back to writing cheat sheet if i wan to finish it before exam time..good luck to me..

listening to: 大人的世界 by BY2 on radio (i tink tt's the title if i m not wrong)

BABY, WHY do u make me CRAZY..

tml is last day of exams!anyway the title is composed of some of the english words from Ring Ding Dong..initially i find it lame that nowadays kpop songs always have some random english words popping up from nowhere..and it is still lame to me now anyway..but i m happy since it provides me with at least a few words which i m able to sing accurately in the song..ok this is a super lame reason..but i m jus crapping now and i shldn't cos i m so super dead for the exam tml..i guess this is a sleepless night again..

ring digi ding digi ding digi ding ding ding..

listening to (in my head): Ring Ding Dong by SHINee

another slack day..

i feel like determination is left with 0 nowadays..since i got to know kpop..ok but i m not blaming them or wat (hope it doesn't show in my tone that i m actually hehe =p)..it's my own fault and my own inability to self-discipline..but anyway i jus spent my whole evening and night and morning(?) watching videos again..the exploration of human body (SuJu's variety show) episode featuring DBSK..hilariously entertaining..i have never watched shows with DBSK in it..only just started listening to some of their songs..so i dunno their potential for being funny and lame..but knowing SuJu and SHINee so well and seeing their funny sides so much,i believe DBSK can't be an exception,being their most respected sunbaes from the same company..haha..i tink that's the way SM promotes their artistes too..letting them appear in variety shows to show their usual side which is different from when they are on stage..

anyway i have crapped too much..i wanted to say i will be starting a SHINee page thing on my livejournal blog (i m that mad about them now-_- dunno how long it will last though) so i may be neglecting this one for a while..this one is still for life's random things (as can be seen from the tag) a.k.a daily life grumblings..the entertainment stuff i will leave for the other blog..

listening to: Bolero by DBSK

p.s. recently i have been mad about this song..not just listening but singing also..and it being in japanese instead of korean makes it easier for me to sing (while reasonably understanding wat i m singing as well)..i replayed the song for the middle english climax part so many times (whether on com or ipod or on youtube for the video)..especially yunho and changmin's parts of 'i stand by your side' and 'ah...'..that i currently have both of their faces and expressions during those parts imprinted in my mind..not kidding man..and this is such a long p.s. note -_-

the Scary Internet

weird title that come out from me..jus spent a few hours understanding the dream concert 2008 incident in Korea when i shld have been studying for my exams because i m so dead and not started (had been slping my afternoon away)..everytime i read abt all those anti stuff in kpop i feel shocked and appalled and disturbed and sad and too much emotions fill me that i cannot describe..this sometimes happen in chinese pop but not to such an extreme extent (not tt i know of anyway)..how can ppl injure/rape(!) other ppl just because they do not like their idol?*jaw drop* is the only reaction i have to it..

like many sane ppl out there,i dun understand the doings and mentality of anti-fans..i can still rmb very clearly a comment written by a person on youtube.."i'd rather spend my time doing useless things for ppl i like rather than doing things to hurt ppl i dun like"..i dun tink i will forget this golden saying..so true and logical..for this i respect those fans who spend time doing things for their idols (like those co-ordinators of fanclubs) more than anti-fans posting anti videos and spreading rumors abt artistes they dun like,even though sometimes some doings of fans i dun agree to too..like stalking and harassing their idols..

in this age of high usage of the Internet (sounds like i m starting an academic essay here-_-),many ppl are using it as a tool (and a powerful one sometimes) to achieve their goals (however unthinkable and scary they are)..i think ppl need to think carefully while they read things online..be sure of their stand and principles,do not get swayed by other ppl..

anyway i shld really START studying..

woohoo..

i feel a bit more awake now..not totally..but the call that told me i got my internship was definitely 'shocking'..since there was supposed to be an interview and i didn't go for it and i thought it was a gone case..i guess they dun have enough applicants?..haha..but after the happiness and excitement i tink the bad will come..i dunno anything abt solar panels..do they know that?i hope they do..i hope i m not expected to know..though some part of my mind tells me that they will surely expect me to know it..since i m interested in it (or so i tink/or so they think because i wrote it in the essay),i shld have learnt abt it or even if i had not,i shld go research on it myself right?..but i tink that can start after my exams..i have 5 days after exams and before start of internship..nice ah..i expect 4.9 days to be spent on going out with frens/slacking in front of my com..i hope the 0.1 day will be of use then..

ok hope i have time then to write my internship entries on here..better keep a record for future use too..

listening to: Oh! My Lady title song by SNSD Sunny

sigh..

i wanted to write this entry without knowing what i want to write..and subconsciously i wrote that title..when i realised what i type i was a bit surprised..it jus left my fingertips like tt..i m not especially sad or upset or wat..and i tink maybe i shld..because tml is my first paper for year 2 sem 2 exams..and i still have 99% to study..i keep on thinking i have studied a lot (which is true when compared to what i have done for the rest of the sem..which was practically nothing..with choir before week 8 and projects after that) when actually i have NOT..i tink the info cramping will need to continue and i dun tink it will be effective..even as i m typing this now i m dead..

it is the first time i throw away my notes before exams..not tt i have any use for them or tt i read them at all..anyway how do u study for english?-_-..ok i shldn't call it english unless my teacher wants to correct me (i tink i shld stop calling my teachers teachers since i m in uni now..but i can't stop myself from calling them that since i have done tt for the past 15 years of my life)..i shld call it "critically thinking and writing" since that is the module name anyway..yup so how can u study to think critically?ok but i tink to them u NEED to study to write critically in the way that they want you to write..i think i cannot survive in this society cos my brain is full of sh*t (i need to strike that out because i m not supposed to use vulgar even if i did not spell it out directly *slaps myself*)..and i tink i have said that in a past entry or something cos it feels like deja vu (*goes to find exact way of writing "deja vu"*)..

listening to: 改变自己 by 王力宏 on radio

p.s. exactly the song i need man -_- 改变自己

and it's all because of you..

that i m angry and couldn't care more now..i dun care if i m seen as a lazy and irresponsible person or wat..normally i wld care..i m those kind of strange(or rebellious?) person who feel happy doing things that ppl dun expect out of me..but if suddenly someone wants me to do that i will not want to do it..even if initially i was happy doing it..i wan to do things not under any pressure..not under anyone's expectations..i wan to feel that wat i do is appreciated and not my just my responsibility..when it becomes a responsibility no one appreciates wat u do anymore..they only know how to blame u if u dun do it but not thank you when u do it..i guess that's y i hate ppl telling me to do certain things tho i know i have to do it..

i hate being 指使 to do what u wan me to do..and u saying it as though i have done nothing for the project..and saying it not directly but sarcastically..thx man..our friendship is quite gone now..not that i feel sorry or sad for it..

listening to (in my head): Because of you by JongHyun and Onew

the blog entry not on a blog 2..

the 2nd time i write a blog entry not on my blog.using the same pen and notebook.listening to a different song.sitting in my fav right back seat of 52 instead of the left back seat of my dad's car.

i've always wanted to write abt my fav back seat in 52.to some extent i consider it 'mine' because i sit there 95% of the time i take 52.when someone sits there is feel sad and i dun feel like i m taking 52 anymore(sitting somewhere else/or even worse, standing).why right side?because i like to look at the scenery (of ugly roads and cars?) rather than the streets and the ppl on it.why the back?because my actions wun be seen by anyone and i feel taller too(the current new bus design is such tt the back is higher,to avoid the engine i read somewhere).but i dun like when there are advertisements such tt it blocks my view and i get dizzy from the tiny dots tt is shown to the bus passengers inside.

digressing.i like my hair now and hope it stays like tt(tho i know it will not and it will grow longer and i have to cut it and leave the $10 hairdresser to interprete what is short and 帅气 for me)(provided i still dare to say the word 帅气 to any of the hairdressers) it is a bit brown from my fren's leftover bubble dye,which at least help a bit in eliminating the nerdish look in me.by 0.01% maybe?i feel more stylish than i've ever felt in my whole life,tho i m still 95% a nerd.i mean my appearance of course.because if u know me well enough(and sadly very few ppl know me tt well),u know i m the slackest person on earth and superbly not hardworking and a total procrastinator.i can't blame others though.i often show a hardworking facade outside(reading notes on bus,not talking abt entertainment stuff and only talking abt sch stuff etc.) because i have slacked too much at home and is finally feeling the fire burning my toes(is there such an idiom?) ppl wld not be able to understand as they only see the outside,which ppl inevitably do(which is the thing i hate abt humans(including myself))..

ok,so this is too long an entry and i took 9/10 of my bus ride to write this.i need to go back to studying because exams is in 1 week's time and i haven't read my lecture notes since week 1 and done 0 tutorials(not kidding man)..a record for my uni life..

i love myself man..

listening to: Ring Ding Dong by SHINee

becoming sick again(?)..

this is the most slack weekend i have ever had since..i dunno when..maybe the most slack weekend in my life?and i m getting engrossed into endless videos and singing and photos again..honestly,the first time i heard jonghyun's singing i was like 'y does this person use so much strength to sing and seem like he is dying when he is singing'..i didn't approve of that very much though it is of course unique cos u can recognise it STRAIGHT away..i mean i've never heard anyone with a voice like him till now..but i didn't think anyone will wan to have a voice like him anyway..

but look wat i m doing now..listening to his songs again and again and getting stuck to my earphones 20 hours a day (because i sleep while listening to songs and only take them out when i realise it in the middle of the night or when i wake up)..i have only one thing to say now..dun start listening to him sing,otherwise u can't stop..

listening to: So Sick by Bling Bling JongHyun (orginially by NeYo of course)

so sick..

i need to go and sleep because i only slept 1 hour yesterday..but i m 'so sick'..i have caught the 'shinee bug'..or i shld say 'jonghyun bug' for today because my eyes are stuck to my com and my ears are stuck to my earphones watching and listening to his performance and singing..

since i got into the kpop fever,i learn abt more english songs than i have ever known since i was born..dunno y but korean singers like to sing english songs and most of those they sing are quite nice so i will go back to listen to the real version..turns out that for some i like the korean singers' version better..i guess it's cause i like acoustic versions better..eng songs are often very 'loud' and full of drums and beats and i dunno how to describe it..rock?but anyway just to list some..like crazyback (eeteuk and eunhyuk on Sukira)..falling slowly (sungmin on sukira)..Just Dance (SHINee on the music bank performance).. So sick and Because of you (Jonghyun and Onew on radio)..ah they sing real nice..

korean artistes really breaks my doubt that idols cannot sing well..how come they are good-looking, can sing well, can dance well, can act well, can host well, can entertain etc all at the same time?it also breaks my believe that heaven is fair to everyone..or maybe they just have some bad points that aren't shown to the public..meanwhile i shall go back to getting amazed by jonghyun (+a bit of Onew)..

listening to: So Sick by Ne-Yo

will i hear the newspaper again?

just suddenly thought of writing this when i saw the time on my desktop..4.44am now..so will i hear the newspaper hitting against my door at 5.30++?not really sure,but i guess it's a 50-50 chance..depends on my efficiency..i look forward to the week after next even though revisions for exams will start..it is the first time i love revision so much (not that i have any revision to do since i have not even read 99% of my lecture notes and haven't done ANY of my tutorials)..i just want to get rid of projects..i wld rather take 5 tests than 1 project..serious..or even more than that..

anyway the resolution was 2 days ago..going well until now..see how long i can keep to it bah..

meanwhile i shld go back to work otherwise it will be 99% chance that i hear the newspaper..

listening to: 锁住时间 by S.H.E

new-life resolution..

as opposed to new year resolution..y i name it that is cos i hope i can start a new life with this resolution..it might not have that great an effect actually on enabling me to start a new life,but if i can fulfill it it means i have the determination and discipline which will enable me to accomplish other harder stuff..if i can't even fulfill that,how can i tink about accomplishing greater stuff?

ok so what's that great resolution?it is to STOP eating when i m full and NOT eat when i m not feeling hungry and to NOT eat in the midnight even if i m feeling hungry (which is the situation that happens to me most of the time because i m a night cat)..nothing much to others maybe..but it's hard for me who uses food to distress and needs food to stay awake to do my work..but those 3 things are the worst things one can do when trying to lose weight..so i need to stop doing it if i ever want to achieve the weight of an average person of my height..sigh..back to work..

积少成多..

the thing i hate most in my life..interviews or projects..in the past i would have chosen interviews without even thinking..but after the interview i had last thurs (with super nice interviewers) and the PILE of projects i have this sem and is still currently struggling with (having 2 project deadlines tml),i tink i m changing my ans to projects..i can only say i m anti-social for sure..i would rather do projects alone..it's not that i always get slack project grp mates or what (o or maybe it is actually)..i have been a liability to others too..i have seen the benefits of group projects because everyone is bound to come up with some usable idea at one point or another,but the coordinating is killing me..humans are 群体动物 i know..but if so i wld rather not be a human..argh..getting more and more anti-social if u ask me..

anyway i like to slack (and write blog entries) during the weirdest of times..when i got so much pressing stuff waiting for me to finish..when i cld have not spend the time slacking and maybe i can finish earlier and maybe slp for at least 15-30 min or so..but i can't help slacking..my attention span is getting shorter as i grow older..is it common?not sure..but anyway shld go back to work bah..sian..

listening to: 牧羊人 by 张信哲 on radio

cos i can't stop thinking abt it..and i wan to stop..

watched SJ videos the whole of last night (i mean this morning) till 6am..which was a change from the recent craze i had over SHINee (and their Hello Baby)..but sadly i m not watching them happily..because i was trying to understand the Shanghai concert incident(s), which is VERY disheartening..it's because of this kind of incidents that u start to question humanity and u doubt 人之初，性本善 this kind of over-optimistic sayings..why are ppl doing things that do no one any good and hurts ppl who are not in the wrong?most imptly, it doesn't benefit them anyway and it ruins everyone's day (and weeks and months actually), including their own..

ok i m getting too engrossed again..spent the past half an hour looking at funny kyuhyun and zhoumi interactions in their baidu bar..of course, this kind of incidents show the bad side of ppl, but also the good side of others..患难见真情 or whatever u want to call it, it shows who really cares and who have the guts to care..we dun wan to criticise those who don't care, but it just makes those who care even more precious and lovable..no matter what, we can only hope that one day someone/heaven can knock some sense into ppl with none or are too blinded to see sense in themselves..when there's more ppl with sense than without,we can at least disintegrate those without so that at least their senseless is kept to themselves and not manifested in some nonsensical actions that destroy others' happiness..(not that we shld ruin our day just because of these ppl)

listening to: SYF 2007 songs

and the newspaper hits the door again..

i can't believe 2 consecutive entries on my blog are during 5++am and both inspired by the newspaper man..this shows how pathetic my life is..when can i stop this madness?when can i stop being like a bumble bee,working my heart out and seeing a point in it and totally not enjoying it too..maybe it will only come when i close my eyes..forever..

listening to: 有只老虎 by 华纳群星 on radio
nice song-_-

when u can hear the newspaper hitting against your door..

that means u either live a healthy life and so wake up very early, or your workplace is too far from your hse so u have to wake up early, or your job nature requires u to start early, or u are like me..u haven't slept..sry tt i m crapping but my mind is not in the right state now (not that it had ever been for the past 2 months).. i just suddenly thought of writing this entry when i heard the newspaper hitting against my door..not tt i have never heard it before..

i just had a 'power nap' (as ppl like to call it) and i m surprised that within that 15 min i cld dream a dream so complete in storyline that i can develop it into a horror movie already (yup it was sort of a nightmare)

listening to: 枫 by 周杰伦

elder sister is very pretty..

nice name for a song..haha..i always find korean titles and lyrics weird but maybe it's the prob of culture and translation..but nvm since i won't know wat they are singing unless i look at the lyrics of course..and the most impt thing to me is that the melody is nice..

anyway i have came here despite having LOADS of work literally piled up because i m currently backing up my files because my laptop caught a virus which i had ignored for the past 2 weeks..but i guess the sick shld always seek doctor as early as possible less it gets worse and irreparable..i have ignored the illness and not treated my laptop because it still can work and i really have no spare time to do all this backing up(i have LOADS of files) and reformatting and anyway i have no confidence that the virus will be gone if i reformat or reinstall or watever u call that..my recovery discs were announced faulty when i lent my fren last time..i rmb the last time i reformatted/reinstalled without using the discs and my files stayed intact but i can't rmb how i did that..so i have to backup my files now because they are super precious to me..especially my music files..i know work stuff shld come first..but whenever i think about losing files the thing that pain me the most is my music files..that happened a few years back and it was like my life had to start all over again..i can't emphasize the importance of music to me any more than this..

anyway i think this backup mission will need to continue tml so i cannot treat my laptop yet..sry lappy(new name for my laptop)..pls hold on one more day..

listening to (in my head): Noona is so pretty (Replay) by SHINee

happiness..행복

i know now is not the best time to write a blog entry..but i mus do so now to express my happiness!after so long of not coming here because of the hectic life (in fact i can safely say it's the busiest time i ever had in my whole life)..tml will be the concert and i will end my 日夜颠倒 life and the countless 睡过站 incidents..in fact for this past few weeks for every 5 returning-home buses that i take, i will 睡过站 for 4 of them..once i took to admiralty and had to quickly alight and cross the road and luckily i managed to take the last bus home..otherwise i will be stranded at some weird place (but luckily i recognised it a bit at least)(there was once when i woke up and saw big patches of grass and forest around and bus is like on those kind of road where it is straight and u can't see any buildings around and ahead) ..ok digressed too much..

why m i happy?other than the concert ending tml,the major factor is because,Pasta is up on time this week!(when for the past few weeks it hasn't been)..it is going to be the last episode i m so looking forward to a great episode though i will miss it a lot..the chef's teasing and their cute quarrels and reconciliation and the boss's gentle and heart-warming actions..

and why shldn't i be happy?because i still have a lab report due tml, a test on thurs which i dun have time to study because tml is fully choir's time..and NUMEROUS projects not yet done..i haven't been doing my part well this few weeks having choir as an excuse (not exactly excuse since it is true)..but after concert i will have to start on them proper..

for this past few weeks i have had lots of thoughts on mind and so much exploding (or imploding) emotions and things i wanted to come here to write, but i didn't have the energy at all to do it..i jus die on my bed whenever i reach home..maybe next time when i have time i can come back to write abt those tough times..but now, it shld be back to lab report-_-

listening to: Listen..to you by KyuHyun

love myself more..

now i m in a happy state..because i tink i might have found out something i have racked my brains over and which caused me to write that super depressing entry yesterday or the day before (can't rmb exactly)..notice i use 'might' because i m not confirm yet..but i still feel so happy and relaxed suddenly and feel like crying..maybe it is cause that's the only not-depressing thing that happened to me for this past few days..maybe it is because i m listening to 'love u more' by super junior which is such a happy song..but that couldn't be the major reason i know..because when u r very sad,even if u listen to a happy song u feel that the song is just an irony of what u are feeling and u feel even sadder (if possible)..anyway i still got like PILES of stuff to do so off i m doing them..but before that let me sing 'love u more' for one last time and i will concentrate on my work..

I WILL SURVIVE!!!

listening to: Love u more by Super Junior

至理名言 inspirational sayings..

always wanted to start an entry like this..but since i only started it now,i have forgotten many that i have found so applicable to me and so true in many situations..i will keep on updating this entry with new sayings i hear..and i boldly put this entry under the tag 'educational stuff' though it might be an 'overtag' (comes from 'overstatement' if you dun understand)

the first part will be the original language it was heard in,the 2nd part is the translation into chinese/english..time to put my translation skills (which is non-existent) into use..sry for the bad translation..

如果愿意想开，一秒钟就可以想开了
If you are willing to let go, it can be done in a second.
from 败犬女王

到不了的都叫做远方，回不去的名字叫家乡
Anywhere that cannot be reached is faraway, the place that can't be returned is your hometown.
from 牡丹江 by 南拳妈妈
p.s. wow that was a tough translation.i dun think i got the meaning right.

没有感觉再尝试也没有用
There's no use trying when there are no more feelings left.
from 无底洞 by 蔡健雅

别在乎在哪里，只在乎往哪里
It doesn't matter where you are now, it only matters where you are going.
from 飞鱼 by 梁静茹

每个选择路口，我就挑难的路走
Whenever there's a decision to be made, I choose the hardest route.
from 逆风 by 花园精灵

是谁说蓝色就等于忧伤，你看看天空和海洋
Who says that blue represents sadness? Look at the sky and sea!
from 开天窗 by 五月天

相手が幸せになるのと、自分が幸せになんの、どっちが大事ですか。
让对方过得幸福，还是让自己过得幸福，哪一个对你来说比较重要？
The happiness of the person you love and your own happiness, which one is more important to you?
from 花ざかりの君たちえ (Hanazakari no Kimitachi e)

三人行，必有我师
There's always something to be learned from others.
from 孔子

老天对每个人都是公平的。他不给你什么，就会给你另一样东西。
Heaven is fair to everyone. If he doesn't give you something, he will give you another thing.
from 我! (haha)

helpless..

that's the only thing i can think of now..i feel like i cannot breathe anymore..i cannot survive in this world..i cannot survive others' and my own expectations..i cannot overcome my own weaknesses..i cannot fit into the society..i cannot find self-value..i cannot find any strengths in myself..i cannot feel happy even when listening to a happy song..i cannot see things clearly..

listening to: Love Disease and Love U More by Super Junior

sit down..

finally,at this time,less than 3 weeks before the concert,i finally learn finish the songs i m supposed to learn..and mind you,i only learnt them..the torturous part is memorising them..and that is supposed to be done by tml 6.30pm choir prac..how m i supposed to memorise 23 songs when i m not even sure if i m singing the correct notes..i dunno..but like something which popped up in my mind and i wrote as my msn nick,currently,my life is like this..

用力的生活，用侥幸生存

i thought of the back part first..because every choir prac is like a smoking session..i jus try my best to get unnoticed and try at least not to have clashing notes with my choir mates..that's the least that i shld do..once in a while i come in too early but only get noticed by the person standing beside me since my singing isn't that loud..what's the moral of the story?don't sing too loudly lest u amplify your mistakes..i mus say it is because of ppl with mindset like me that choir pracs are always crap..especially the first try of the song..my conductor explicitly said that he hates this kind of ppl who wan to smoke because there are so many ppl in our choir..but i can't seem to find a better way to survive thru this period..just let me survive till after the concert..

the 2nd part came to me when there was one day that i was quite concentrated on my work without any distractions to listen to songs and watch videos..i accomplished quite a lot(but just enough to survive only still) that day and finished what i m supposed to finish..this kind of days is rare and i m still waiting for another of this day to come to me..though i tink it should be coming because hols are ending(when u discount the prac hours of choir,both at home and sch) and i have done absolutely NOTHING.not kidding.i don't use this word and in caps for no reason.i mean what i say when i write(type) that.

i love my life..

p.s. o by the way the title is the disgusting song and last choir song i managed to learn over the past i dunno how many hours..with the distraction of SJ videos(as a relaxation time for me)..i simply cannot stand learning the song non-stop..o that's a pun!i cannot stand learning 'sit down'..

listening to(in my head,the alto part): Sit down by Frank Loesser

everytime i fall in love..

(an entry by a fangirl)(though i had numerous cases of people mistaking me as a guy)

i cannot help myself but fall deeper in love with super junior everytime i watch them or hear them..today it's especially kyuhyun and ryeowook whom of course i had fallen in love with long ago because of their voices..i know many ppl can sing..i have always known this and always felt bewildered..how come so many ppl can sing and sing so well?but ryeowook and kyuhyun are definitely the best singers who are from an 偶像团体 i have ever seen and heard..maybe there are better ones(i heard from my friend that the guys from DBSK can sing super well too and though i have never sat down quietly and hear them sing,i tink that shld be true since they have like so many fans and wiki says they sing acapella often too)..but i dun care..i jus know i m in love with super junior now..

seen ryeowook play the piano and kyuhyun play the clarinet today for the first time today(through videos of course i mean)..i have to sigh again..i really have to say this..since i have always been listening to mando pop and mainly coming from taiwan,i was quite limited and i tink the concept of 偶像 being unable to sing is quite sub-consciously deep rooted in me(and many ppl too)..until i started knowing kpop..the "偶像" in their sense aren't jus ppl who looks good..they are singers and dancers and actors because they really can sing and dance and act well..they spend most of their youth undergoing training in these aspects and are really passionate about what they do(unlike some taiwan celebrities who are just 'founded' on the streets by some talent scouts)..ok first i have to do a disclaimer..i m not against or insulting taiwan celebrities or wat..i still love mando pop and like taiwan artistes..at least i can sing the songs while understanding what i m singing and so sing with more feelings..i m jus trying to express some thoughts which might not apply to everybody of course..

ok anyway back to topic..kyuhyun's bassy voice is super soothing and it's not like he cannot sing high notes too..when he sings u forget that he's the mischievous magnae(i.e. youngest) of super junior who likes to talk back to his hyungs(i.e. elder brothers) and tease ppl and do lame stuff and play computer games..he's just that romantic guy who is singing a song for the girl he loves..i always love how super junior can change between their roles as normal ppl who are jus like your friends (in variety shows where they never fail to make me laugh) and professional singers/actors/dancers (with their powerful and VERY in-sync dances/voices which can melt ppl/convincing acting skills) so effortlessly..and how all this doesn't seem to have any conflicts..

ok going back to kyuhyun,he can really pronounce mandarin very well..i guess that's cause he mastered the 四声 of pronuncing mandarin..the 抑扬顿挫 might be difficult for ppl whose mother tongue dun have this kind of weird things..jus like how i m finding difficulties in pronuncing korean with their un-distinguishable 'ae' and 'e' and the aspirated and glottalised vowels..i mistook kyuhyun's singing for hangeng's on many occasions in sjm's chinese songs and everytime when i found out i have been wrong,i get amazed again at how he can pronounce mandarin better than half of my chinese friends..guess that it jus proves that anything can be achieved by determination and practice(or maybe he jus had the talent for anything related to the vocal cords?)haha..

ok now to ryeowook..i saw somewhere that they call him the eternal magnae..not without a reason really..he looks more like the magnae than kyuhyun seriously..being so shy and humble all the time..and of course cute!that is the feeling u will get initially..but u know he is more than that after u get to know him better(or maybe i shld say after u watch more videos about him)..he can play piano,compose songs(both on piano and also the songs in SJ albums) and sing well..him being the tenor,sing any high notes nicely..although i think his voice is less stable than kyuhyun's,i tink it's cause he have to sing the high notes so often and so it's quite hard on him too..and that brings me to another big point..

just now i was suddenly thinking..would kyuhyun and ryeowook do better if they were not in super junior?i know i will get beaten by many SJ fans (ELF) out there by saying this and i myself dun wan them to leave SJ of course,but i was thinking IF they didn't join SJ they can have a career more dedicated to music stuff..their voices can definitely bring them to great heights..they have the abilities to be popular and famous without needing the boosting by other group members..

the industry is more unfair for dancers i guess,since it is called the MUSIC industry and not dancing industry in the first place..they are called singers,not dancers,though they need to dance too..ok what i m trying to drive at is that an artiste in the music industry need to be able to sing and dancing is sort of like an added bonus..i mean like if u are good at dancing but cannot sing for nuts,u can become a dancing teacher to the artistes at best..to come out with an album requires u to be able to sing..that's y there are so many music groups in korea i think..those who cannot sing that well get to be an artiste and be popular too,helped by their groupmates who might not be able to dance as well but can sing well..

kyuhyun and ryeowook are like those who can sing well and cannot dance as well..of course,they can dance much better than the average person,but i sometimes wonder whether that is really what they really wan to do..the most intolerable thing for a 'music person' is to lipsync for a performance,but it is inevitable for them to do it for some of SJ's songs since the dancing part is too intense and it's impossible to dance properly and sing well at the same time..

ok i realised i have written too long and lost the point somewhere..dun even know what i wan to say now..o ya..back to the point..ryeowook like composing and he does have some talent there as can be seen from the few songs he had composed..if he cld spend more time on this (which is what he wants actually) and not need to dance(which needs lots of prac and especially so with their big group),i tink he wld be happier and progress much faster in the music area..

ok i realise this entry is too long liao..it's now 3.10am,meaning i spent 1hour+ jus to write this entry..not that good since i haven't done anything constructive since fri after sch..not that i m going to do anything constructive now..but i'd better be done with my videos so that tml i can get started with work(after the 拜年 and movie trip)..meanwhile,anticipating SJ's next album and ryeowook having more compositions in it!though i know it wld not be complete without 3 members..sigh..

listening to: Love you more by Super Junior

one love..

i jus wrote an entry title that is totally not relevant..i jus can't think of anything at the moment..i feel so restless now..not knowing what to do..it is 1 hr 15 min to chinese new year and yet i dun feel happy..i have too much on my hands that i dunno which one to start with..all are disgusting and any one can make me puke blood..researchES, lab report, learning+memorising my choir scores..i dun feel like starting any..

plus pasta episode 12 is not up yet when it should have been up on wednesday..i dunno izit cause of the new year that the translators(whom i tink are Chinese) are "not working" and slacking for a while..and then my media classic player goes on a strike and cannot respond since yesterday..i dunno wat to do with it really..sigh..everything's not working for me..

i feel like slacking but i know i will suffer later if i do so now..i wan to continue my korean lessons yesterday(which was quite fruitful) and i wan to lie on my bed and think of nothing..but i cannot..

o anyway the title is a song by Super Junior..written by eunhyuk and rapped by him and sung by K.R.Y during their first concert..really nice..i m really amazed at what they can do..i can only say that they are born to be artistes..

korean aka hangul

jus wanted to put some sites here for ppl who want to learn korean..i started learning using this site and it's really quite good..it is easy to follow and the way the person teach is very 'personal',like he/she is talking to u as a fren..if u wan to learn korean in a stress-free way,that is one good site to start with..of course u can proceed to more sophisticated ones after u have learnt the basics..

then there's this site which is the korean language department of Monash University which i got from the previous site actually..there are some resources for learning korean on there..but the main thing is the 2 400++ pages korean textbook online copy that u can download from there..real cool..

added on 10th Apr 2010: wow i have become more in love with wiki (if that is even possible).i still don't know why some lecturers don't let us cite from wiki.some say cos they feel inferior to it,which i agree.ok digressed.the main point is,wiki has pages dedicated to teaching languages too!how cool is that man.it might not be useful for people who want to learn advanced stuff but it is definitely the best place to start learning korean there.very easy to understand and complete guide.

may u have fun learning korean!

p.s. this will be updated with more sites if i find more good ones..

after 2 centuries..

it's the starting of the 3rd century for my blog..ok i know i m being lame..this being the 201st entry isn't any big deal actually..but it's really great that i have a place to write all my feelings and random stuff that i have in mind..i never thought i can keep a blog for so long (and never changed the template)..and no one has found out abt it..if someday someone did,i wld feel so unsafe cause all my feelings for the past 5 years will be suddenly exposed to that person..ok digressed..

this being 除夕isn't that exciting..me having 1 week hols isn't too..because it shldn't be called hols if it is filled with assignments+lab reports+project researchS+choir pracs..i wonder if i will survive..normally i will feel super happy (and slack) at the start of hols(however short it is)(not that i m not slack now)..but this time,i can already feel the end coming though the hols only jus started 6 hours..ppl often say that adults are not as pure and free as kids,but it's not like it's our fault..the world forces us to be so..how to be free of worries when doom is always impending(do u use it like this?) on us..

ok digressed again..my main point is,i started my abandoned korean online lessons again..now it starts to get hard..and i m only at the alphabet part,not the grammar part..but it's ok..when u have interest in something it's always fun..without obligations and exams(which was the case in the past when i learnt japanese)..i know it let u learn faster and more efficiently,but i jus wan to do something for fun and not force myself too much..ok back to learning..

listening to: Again & Again by 2pm

don't don!

nice timing for a blog entry ah?jus finished 2 dances..choir dances..+singing..why is my 200th entry such a sad case one..i have like 5 stuff due next week and i haven't started any..i have to spend all my time practising choir songs+dance but i still get scolded during choir pracs..what is this world coming to?why do i like to torture myself?is it really that 每个选择路口，我就挑难的走?this is the only time in my life that i really felt that..maybe i shldn't be blinded by my passion for singing already..because i like singing,but not in choir..i like singing,but not getting scolded and pressurised to learn so many songs that i dun even understand and not singing in tune anyway..

ok i realised my title is quite no link to the topic here..but wat i wan to say is DON'T force me anymore..i wanna scream like at the end of the song..

listening to: Don't Don by Super Junior

pasta..

i always didn't think that korean actors/actresses are good-looking..dunno is it cos their characters in the shows are always so 不干脆 and 扭捏..but after watching pasta(not after actually,cos it is still showing now),i realise they can be quite good-looking and 讨人喜欢..they may not have the best looks but their charisma just shows so easily through their acting..

o ya about the entry yesterday abt my conductor,i forgot to talk abt thing tt always pops into my mind when i see him conduct vs not conducting and as a normal person (e.g. sitting beside me on a bus)..i always think of chiaki senpai in nodame cantabile..it's not tt they like to scold ppl maybe..when they are not conducting (or doing something related to music) they are really normal ppl..they can be lame and cheeky and gentle and nice..but they are downright scarily serious and seriously scary when it comes to their passion,music..i guess all conductors are like that..cos my jc conductor is like that too..though he is not as angry(can't seem to find a correct word to describe) as chiaki and my current conductor..he is the silent killer type..when u look at his eyes u know tt u will die if u dun focus and sing properly..his most famous line is "it's all in your mind"..

his biggest strength is determination i guess,and tt's y tt's wat he tried to train us to have too..there was one time when we sang like shit and after tt everyone had to train to be focused by looking into his eyes for 15min or so(not really sure abt the duration actually..cos it jus felt like years when everyone is in a quiet room and looking at the conductor and nothing is moving and no one dared to breathe too hard too)..the moment u slacken and stop looking at him u are dead meat man..and 1 girl vomitted in the middle because she was not feeling well (we were standing btw)..i guess he felt bad abt it (and at the same time admired her will power too)..

and the chef in pasta is the same..he's even more extreme i think..being so 'flirty' when he's not in the kitchen..i use this word without any reserve because how else do u describe a guy who ask a girl to be his girlfren only after 3 days of knowing her..and u might wan to call him a bastard(really sry for using a bad word in this blog) too considering tt he had jus fired her from the restaurant..but he definitely looks charismatic when he cooks..even nicer than the food he cooks(tho i have to say this show aroused my interest in pasta)..

ok anyway wat i wan to say is tt such ppl are really the extreme..tho i know y they are like that,i dun tink i will ever get used to such ppl..i like normal ppl better i guess..i'd rather my life be normal without those scary ups and downs..

listening to: Love you more by Super Junior (written by ryeowook and sungmin!)

这是最好的时代，也是最坏的时代..

yesterday i wrote an entry under the same title..but because of my very nice internet browser "not responding" to it,the whole thing was gone..nice ah?sian..dun feel like typing out all those things again,though they were quite impt as something memorable in my life..

anyway,yesterday after performance,i had to take the same bus as the conductor and it was like total weirdness because he had been scolding us for half of the day(tho i missed the huge part of it due to lessons..phew)..we did not say anything other than those few lame 寒暄 and then i pretended to be engrossed in my handphone music and closed my eyes for the rest of the not-very-short..but i have to say it is quite a rare experience..to me,choir conductors are always like high up there,and all of them like to scold ppl..and are "seriously" scary..as in i dun mean very scary..i mean they are so serious that it becomes scary..at least when they are talking abt the "choir music" that they are so passionate abt(which unfortunately or fortunately i still dun understand)(i fall aslp while listening to choir singing)..

actually i was thinking whether i shld talk to him,to not seem so cold,but i guess it doesn't matter to either of us anyway,so i'd rather keep the status quo..unless we reach some topic(related to choir) that we cannot agree with each other with and i will be kicked out of the choir before i can quit it myself (tho secretly i hope for tt too)..but after the scolding today(jus now during prac)(i see choir ppl more often than my classmates nowadays),how i wished that it was today tt i sat on the bus with him..maybe(or probably not) i will start telling me how i feel abt wat he said the choir and us being irresponsible and not learning our scores properly etc etc..it's not like all of us are on an equal starting line..it's easy for u to say,but since the choir accepts us who are unable to read music into the choir in the first place,u shld be prepared that u cannot force us to learn so many songs in such a short time and expect us to sing it well and sing with techniques that u never taught us in the first place (pls dun assume we know it,cos u know we dun)..

if u say we are liabilities to the choir,i can tell u tt the choir is a liability to me too..it's not like we never put in effort(ok maybe some really didn't)..and also 1 super impt point..dun expect us to devote all our time to choir jus because u do..u are passionate yah we know..but tt's your choice..tt's y u are the conductor in the first place right?i have to say,i join choir really taking it as a cca..not as a torture or concentration camp or wat..and i m not going to sacrifice my sch work for choir jus because u choose to do so..maybe we are the weak link in choir?but if u really wan such a strong choir then u shld have not let us in from the start..u shld limit the numbers and not accept so many ppl and choose only the pros..then u will not have the weak links..your choir can be the smallest but strongest..so guess wat?if u jus wan us to fill in the numbers,then be prepared to get shit from us..

ok this is getting bad..i jus poured out all my feelings and thoughts tt filled my mind jus now when getting scolded..first time tt i spent a whole blog entry complaining abt something..but it feels so 爽!i mus do it more often next time..good way for venting out so that i dun implode and die too early..

listening to: 转动 by 林俊杰

thank you teacher, let's go to school to eat pasta..

that's a super random title that i thought of that is supposed to link 4 shows that 孔孝真 acted in..still dunno how to spell her korean name so not writing it..it's really funny that i m so interested in korean shows now since i have hated them since all those whiny and cryey soap dramas showed in singapore tv last time..dun understand why they talk so slowly and cry every 10 min..and their fate is always sad and etc etc..

but i guess 命运 is really strange and sometimes everything is jus by coincidence (reminds me of the scene in 'curious case of benjamin button' where the female lead won't have broken her leg if not for a series of 'coincidences')..i got to know 'sorry sorry' because i watch so many taiwan shows and they are always dancing and singing that for a period of time..but at that time i still dunno abt super junior (and watched their performance on 金曲奖without much appreciation,jus thought that 'wow,so tt is the original sorry sorry dance that so many taiwanese are dancing')..only abt 7/8 months later when i saw my fren's video of them dancing that + super junior m on 娱乐百分百 (at that time i watched it for 小猪and 小鬼) that i started to know there is such a group which exists..even then,i didn't start to like them because i thought 'ok so this is a bunch of guys who can sing and dance',and the only songs i know from them then were sorry sorry and super girl..then while browsing related videos i realised the nice song which i heard on 933 1 year ago was sang by them (that is 迷)..i always thought it was a song by 棒棒堂 and thought 'ok this song is nicer than their previous songs and their voices seem to be nicer in this song'..until i saw the mv and realised i had been wrong for 1 year..

that was how i started to like super junior (if i never rmb wrongly,cos i tink the starting of the process of liking an artiste,or a grp of artistes in this case,is really not so clearly definable)..i watched their 娱乐百分百episode again and realised how they can dance well and ryeowook and kyuhyun can sing so well too (with kyuhyun's super 标准华语)..i started to watch their mvs and know their songs and know them through the numerous variety shows..

ok i tink this is too long and so i shld quickly proceed to the main thing..

and then i got to hear kyuhyun's individual song "listen..to you" on youtube which is super nice and realised it's the theme song for the show "pasta"..i wanted to watch the front part of the episode to listen to the song but realised korean shows aren't like singapore and taiwanese shows where the theme songs will play at the starting and ending of the show..and that's how i started watching the show and realised it's not like the typical korean show that i thought of..it's romantic and funny and light-hearted which is good for me..

and then i wanted to see what other shows the 2 leads acted in before,and then found out the male lead was in coffee prince which i didn't watch last time when it showed in singapore (though it had yoon eun hye whom i liked because of goong)..and the female lead acted in various shows with various male korean actors whom i know (which is quite few)..'thank you' with 张赫..the teacher show with the guy male lead in coffee prince.."sang doo,go to school" (a direct translation from chinese which i dunno is correct or not) with Rain!my god,he looked so cute in the show with the little girl as her daughter..i like his cute side rather than his manly side..

anyway it is 4am now and i haven't done any homework and so i shldn't be here..that's all for the korean drama craze now..shall cont when i have time..

at the speed of light..

ok actually it's not so exaggerating but if it is compared to my previous working speed (concept of "relativity" -_-),it's really quite fast..though i m still late by 1hour50min in submitting my homework..at least i wrote something..when you are desperate,anything is good enough..and when u are not good at something,the less you expect yourself to do well and so the more often u will do it wrong but u forgive yourself easily too..ok i m not talking a lot of sense but tt's just how i feel now..need to start LEARNING THE NOTES of my choir songs which i need to MEMORISE by tml..dunno how i m going to do it..maybe jus start having mental preparations of being scolded tml bah..

listening to: 爱上爱的味道 by 张韶涵

习惯就好..

the 3rd week of sch is going to start..it seems like it has become a habit for me to come here on a sunday night..real sch work only starts this week but i already feel like i m going to die under the work..it is actually better than last sem(i tink)..i think last sem was stressful and ruined by my hydraulics module(which killed a lot of other students too)..i was constantly anxious because i cannot understand a thing at lecture and did not do a single tutorial and had to copy all my assignments from others..for this sem,at least it is something related to environment but i think it is cause the hard calculations and thinking part haven't come in yet..

it feels so hard to live in this society..everyone is asking us to think and analyse things CRITICALLY and have a mind of your own and look at things from various points of view and be innovative with problem-solving etc..i hate all these big words..it's not like i dun wan to think critically and come up with creative solutions but i just can't..i simply hate the feeling of killing my brain cells..and being a little perfectionistic(in some areas only) doesn't help at all..i feel like killing myself..

listening to: some weird but nice song by 王菲 on the radio

so wo noon ma leh bah?!

today i want to start my learning of korean finally..had been thinking of it for so long but haven't started..i tink i need something like '15 min of korean a day' so that i can start learning it..anyway it takes time to remember since i m not using it..just like my jap..forgotten 99% of it including how to write some katakanas..spending 4 years on it and getting a JLPT 3 (barely passed) doesn't mean anything at all..o ya anyway the title is the romanisation by me of girls' generation's 'genie'..i tink the hardest thing abt learning korean,like 韩庚 said,wld be the pronunciation..but let's jiayou and start my korean lesson now before i go slp!jiayou!(i shall go and learn how to say jiayou in korean too!)

listening to: Genie by Girls' Generation

fast one then..

i need to wake up 6.30 for lessons tml and i shldn't be here now cos any sec my mum might wake up and scold me..but i need to write down something here..only 1 week after the day i parted SJ videos unwillingly with 'It's you' as the finale song and my friends might be doing that dance..cool..i myself wld like to learn it and be part of their grp but i know it wld be better for me to just watch them..dancing isn't for me..

i spent the past 5 hours reading about so many things related to the kpop music industry that i m like super saturated now with those stuff..learning abt the most influential kpop artistes of the past decade and dbsk and cassiopeia (and them in the world record of largest fanclub) and their sad plight and SM artistes being oppressed and Xiah and Eunhyuk being childhood best friends and how young they were when they auditioned and how young they were when they started preparing to become an artiste and how long korean companies (or only SM?) spend to train their artistes (now i know why they are so talented) and the protest against SNSD and having a forum dedicated towards anti-ing SNSD..my god..the korean pop scene is much more complicated than i think..maybe it wld have been better if i stuck to chinese songs but there's no turning back now since i already know SuJu and it is quite impossible to get them out of my head now..just hope that i dun go and start to like DBSK too..that wld be too much on my hands (and in my head,and in my computer too)..

listening to: Sorry Sorry Answer by Super Junior

the oatmeal

www.theoatmeal.com

the newspapers introduced this website like last last week and i thought i shld go and have a look but only went there today.super funny author with great illustration skills and a good sense of humour.my favs are the printer one and the customer service one.go and see it.it will make u laugh like mad.

the blog entry not written on a blog..

this is the 1st time i write a blog entry while i dun have a com with me.'how do u do tt' u ask.easy.write on paper and 'transfer' the words to your blog.maybe it's cos i want to use my new pen.maybe it's cos i m feeling bored now.maybe it's cos i m full of feelins now.or maybe it's a combi of all.

i m in a traffic jam now.very common in s'pore.any time spent doing nothing is time wasted.if tt's the definition,i wasted half of my time this past week.FYI,the 1st week of sch just ended but it felt so long.no real work has started,unless u consider choir stuff which is even more stressful than sch work to me.

pardon me,i suddenly have the idea to scan this page and put it as a pic on this entry to show u how horrible my handwriting is.i might not be able to recognise it myself.(editor's note:i can recognise it i realise)

random thoughts (not that my previous words weren't random)

-i wan to learn korean!and revise my jap too.or i wld say relearn.cos basically i forgot EVERYTHING.

-i feel like slping cos we are still in the jam.

-i pity my father cos he's sick but still has to tolerate this jam.

-i tink it's the 1st time i write abt my father in my blog entry.(editor's note:makes me wonder when my mum will appear)

-i desperately want to know how 韩庚's case has gone.i hope he can stay in SJ and just have a new contract but if it's impossible,i wish him well in the future.but i dun think i will look at SJ in the same way anymore.i wun know who to look at during their performances and MVs.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

i ended here because there wasn't enough space.typing this out was like practising my typing skills.not really thinking.anyway,off to learn korean!(tho i shldn't be doing that at this time)

listening to (in my head): the 2nd line in U by Super Junior, which is 韩庚's line,which is (when romanised by me never really knowing the correct pronunciation), "kuroke chyo tapojima, don wan ai game i mu, ajishi jya ah geh so"

rokkugo rokkugo rokkugo malehba!

the tune is stuck in my head and meanwhile i m still 'discovering' past super junior videos which are super funny like the goong t parody by super junior t..and the coffee prince one (tho i didn't watch the drama in the first place)..how can they be so cute and handsome and cool and funny and lame and childish and professional (when they sing and dance) and mischievous at the same time?i dun tink i can get tired of them unless i watch all of their videos thru these years (from 2005 till now) which is seriously A LOT..they do almost everything..sing,dance,act,host in tv and radio,do lame stuff in variety shows..i often think to myself,what can they not do?that is the power of 13 i guess..being the biggest group in korea (i tink,and also biggest in the world?),every person has something u will like him for..

but this is going nowhere,i shldn't be here now..let me indulge myself some more before the real sch work comes in..and history repeats itself again..

listening to: Rokkugo! by Super Junior T

cause i can't stop thinking bout u girl...

1st day of sch ended officially and it doesn't feel like the first day though it was quite slack.choir totally ruined it.i don't know why i keep on plunging myself into troubled waters.but there's no regretting now.just want to write some resolutions here.not exactly new year resolutions,but new sem resolutions.

since i can't stop thinking about them (super junior),i need to control myself and to write it down here so that i can slap myself if i dun do it.for this sem,i shall only watch SuJu videos on weekends and all other times shld be spent doing constructive things like doing work or practising choir songs.however,i can listen to one SuJu song on the com everyday so that i dun go mad thinking abt them.ok set.

listening to: U by Super Junior

neorago..

in 7 hours' time i will be having my first lecture of the sem(and of the year also of course).i m not prepared at all.not only mentally but also physically.not sure whether "physically" is the correct word to use but what i mean is that i haven't printed my lecture notes and i haven't touched my choir scores and i don't even know what my modules are about.and all i can think abt now is super junior.i need to look at their mvs properly once before sch starts and i have no time to do what i wan to do.i chose happiness and neorago(it's you).the first because of the happy mood of the song and the 2nd because of the catchiness of it and i sang it in karaoke today!super excited when i saw the mv on the big screen of the lobby of the ktv and the music playing loudly.can't control myself to not shake with the rhythm of it..

ok so let's end this "short" and wasteful holidays with the perfect thing..

listening to: Neorago (It's You) by Super Junior

it's gotta be me..

the 4th post in 3 days.i think i m like going mad or something.everytime i like something i go into a crazy mode when i can't get it off my mind and whatever i do it will stay with me.most of the time it is dramas.the more mad ones i can rmb are like 仙剑奇侠传 and 恶作剧之吻。i can rmb thinking abt them thru lessons and immersing myself in the mood of that particular episode i stopped at(and most of the time it is the sad moods that affect me).so i will be sad like for the whole day.i rmb crying on a bus while listening to 仙剑奇侠传 ost cos i was totally immersed in the scenes while listening to the familiar background music.looks totally like an idiot to others and ppl might think i jus broke up with my boyfren or something.

ok i realised i haven't gone to the main topic after that long intro.ok,so the main topic is...

I AM IN LOVE WITH 韩庚 now!i feel like i m going bonkas or something.and it's not gd because sch is going to reopen in 1 week's time and i have no time to love him if i wan to not fail my next exams.jus now i was shopping with my fren and i keep on imagining the clothes being worn by him,thinking "ok this suits him..mmm..this doesn't..."is this a sign of going bonkas?anyway i need to end this soon so that i can go and bathe so that i can eat my dinner so that i can quickly come and spam on his videos again because time is precious..not much time left for this week..i need to see him so that i won't go bonkas..but after i see more of him i get bonkas more easily..shit this is like a vicious cycle..ok i shld stop crapping..

listening to(in my head): 迷(me) by Super Junior M

o my superman..

2 entries in 1 day.that's a first for me.the spamming of super junior videos continue and i feel that i won't want to go back to sch anymore after all these slackness.there's one saying that is so true and i understand but i still cannot implement it.

Work hard, play hard.

for now i can only fulfill the "play hard" part.ok to say the truth,that is not something for me to learn.it was born in me.but working hard without thinking about playing is impossible for me.but i guess i shldn't be so pessimistic about this and i shld not tell myself that i cannot do it.because of that "what u tell yourself is what u will do" thing.so i shld think positively and say "i can work hard and concentrate on everything i do!"

ok enough of big talks and back to spamming videos.haha.so much for the big talk.

o my super girl..

shit!now my next week is like filled except for tml and tues.i m spamming super junior m (or rather,韩庚) right now with 3 windows(numerous tabs each) of videos and any wrong move will make all of them to "not respond" and everything will close and the videos which i have put here for dunno how many hours to load(due to my slow internet)..i was intending to spam sjm videos for the next 2 days,but appointments keep on popping up out of nowhere today..and suddenly i have no more time left till sch reopens!why is it that whenever i suddenly like a celebrity(or a grp of celebrities in this case),it wld be time to get serious with work again..like nodame cantabile during A levels,wang leehom during the previous exam..or is it that i m not concentrating enough on work that i find such things to engross myself..

ah i find that i like someone very easily and can forget about it very easily too..

listening to: Super Girl by Super Junior M

(blank)(again)

this is the dunno how many times i m at my computer typing a blog entry while people are counting down to the new year.this year,i was in the toilet when i heard people shouting "happy new year!" nice moment huh..no special feelings actually,but just wanted to visit my "long time no write" blog..new year,new beginnings,new challenges,new stresses(but old problems)..hope everyone take it easy and jus rmb to stay happy =D