人生就是不断的奋斗

i think there may have been another post with this title, or maybe many other posts, but i guess that shows that this statement is true. starting a new job tomorrow, frantically (or not really) trying to learn the new language kotlin that i would need to use in the rushed project where i would have no time to learn. this never ending cycle of learning new things and forgetting old things, when will it end? we are just like ants in the society, bustling around trying to get by in life. maybe i just need to yolo and solve things as they come. either that i need to up my discipline to plough through the tasteless documentation of kotlin... 

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maybe i m too used to being "优秀" in the eyes of others (or maybe i m thinking too much? but definitely above average), at least in terms of attitude, so i am shocked when i m treated as one with attitude problems. i agree that how i handled things here would make them see me like this, and i can't control it. i can't fake my respect to ppl whom i dun respect. i m not saying it is a strength, but i can't not be honest when i m pissed off at ppl. i can tell white lies to ppl i like and care for, but to ppl whom i dun, who cares what they think. that's y i can't survive in this society, and that's y i need to find a job where i dun need to interact with ppl, but this job doesn't exist?

anyway, since the ppl here find me below average and not nice to work with, i shall find somewhere else where i m treasured. saves the pain to them and me right? 勉强是没有幸福的。y hog the place when everyone feels unhappy? we all should have 开阔的视野。leaving is not a bad thing, 放开手才能去握住下一个幸福。 i sincerely hope they find someone who can work like how they want him/her to, and that person feels happy here too. 我给你最后的疼爱是手放开..gradually becoming a karaoke session here..