yesterday i wrote an entry under the same title..but because of my very nice internet browser "not responding" to it,the whole thing was gone..nice ah?sian..dun feel like typing out all those things again,though they were quite impt as something memorable in my life..
anyway,yesterday after performance,i had to take the same bus as the conductor and it was like total weirdness because he had been scolding us for half of the day(tho i missed the huge part of it due to lessons..phew)..we did not say anything other than those few lame 寒暄 and then i pretended to be engrossed in my handphone music and closed my eyes for the rest of the not-very-short..but i have to say it is quite a rare experience..to me,choir conductors are always like high up there,and all of them like to scold ppl..and are "seriously" scary..as in i dun mean very scary..i mean they are so serious that it becomes scary..at least when they are talking abt the "choir music" that they are so passionate abt(which unfortunately or fortunately i still dun understand)(i fall aslp while listening to choir singing)..
actually i was thinking whether i shld talk to him,to not seem so cold,but i guess it doesn't matter to either of us anyway,so i'd rather keep the status quo..unless we reach some topic(related to choir) that we cannot agree with each other with and i will be kicked out of the choir before i can quit it myself (tho secretly i hope for tt too)..but after the scolding today(jus now during prac)(i see choir ppl more often than my classmates nowadays),how i wished that it was today tt i sat on the bus with him..maybe(or probably not) i will start telling me how i feel abt wat he said the choir and us being irresponsible and not learning our scores properly etc etc..it's not like all of us are on an equal starting line..it's easy for u to say,but since the choir accepts us who are unable to read music into the choir in the first place,u shld be prepared that u cannot force us to learn so many songs in such a short time and expect us to sing it well and sing with techniques that u never taught us in the first place (pls dun assume we know it,cos u know we dun)..
if u say we are liabilities to the choir,i can tell u tt the choir is a liability to me too..it's not like we never put in effort(ok maybe some really didn't)..and also 1 super impt point..dun expect us to devote all our time to choir jus because u do..u are passionate yah we know..but tt's your choice..tt's y u are the conductor in the first place right?i have to say,i join choir really taking it as a cca..not as a torture or concentration camp or wat..and i m not going to sacrifice my sch work for choir jus because u choose to do so..maybe we are the weak link in choir?but if u really wan such a strong choir then u shld have not let us in from the start..u shld limit the numbers and not accept so many ppl and choose only the pros..then u will not have the weak links..your choir can be the smallest but strongest..so guess wat?if u jus wan us to fill in the numbers,then be prepared to get shit from us..
ok this is getting bad..i jus poured out all my feelings and thoughts tt filled my mind jus now when getting scolded..first time tt i spent a whole blog entry complaining abt something..but it feels so 爽!i mus do it more often next time..good way for venting out so that i dun implode and die too early..
listening to: 转动 by 林俊杰
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