nobody said it was easy..

i jus suddenly realised that the lyrics of the song fits the situation i m in now..nobody said singing was easy..but i just wanted to sing happily..i didn't want it to become a burden,a worry,just like how taking japanese as a subject killed all my interest in it..maybe i m just too 软弱 to go through all the pain to achieve excellence,but i just want to be happy..i've never felt so tired of singing before..this isn't the person who had said so passionately "i like singing!" anymore..

maybe a person like me can never succeed,can only forever be a "jack of all trades and master of none"..but it doesn't matter to me..i just want to be touched by music again..i just want to be selfish..i just want myself to be happy..

listening to: the scientist by coldplay

falalala..

this is wat i m singing now..like not kidding..i m singing as i m typing it..singing along with a midi..this is the 3rd consecutive year i m going to spend dec caroling again..it's quite special also in that for these 3 years,i've been caroling with 3 different choirs..with totally different ppl..first is my jc choir,then my hall choir,then now is uni choir..so some of the scores i have 3 sets..e.g like joy to the world,white christmas,ding dong..these are pieces that i guess ppl find too nice to change..my uni choir has quite many pieces that they rearranged and i felt like dying when i saw them cos i m alto and i have to relearn all those weird notes!and their arrangements are harder to sing..sigh..in my hall choir i was put in sop 2 and so last year i also had to learn some new carols (tho it is the melody and much easier to sing) because even tho they are the melody,i have never heard of them before haha..

tml is choir camp and i still have i dunno how many carols unlearnt..how come i didn't there are so many carols in the world?as in we always hear the same few ones on the streets right?

listening to and singing: ding dong merrily on high

tired and inspired..

finished exams today and went for a fren's 新书座谈会 to give her a surprise..20 years old and she's already published her first book (i'd really like to say the title here but am afraid of 'exposing' my blog to anyone i know.i can only say i m very determined not to let anyone i know discover this during my lifetime,though probably no one is interested in it anyway)..it's sort of a diary of the times she had bipolar disorder (in more layman's terms,it's a kind of depression) and a reflection of those times and how she got out of it..we were classmates during her most difficult times but i m guilty of not noticing her mood swings and the difficult period she was going thru..but,being the strong girl that she is,she gradually recovered from it and is now a cheerful girl again (though she admitted she still had down times and is still on medication)..

sometimes i admire wat others have achieved and look at my own life..i live a happy life and under the protection of my parents and without any major episodes in my life,i do not feel a need to change and thus my personality can only be summarised in one word: lazy.maybe i need some big unhappy thing to fall on me before i change,but i hope it will never come.anyway i m too drowsy now to want to write anything more..

and suddenly i realised i wanted to write this entry because i wanted to complain how i dun feel like exams are over because choir camp is next monday and i haven't started learning those carols that i m supposed to have known already and i totally don't feel like starting.procrastinate is my middle name.ok actually i have no middle name since i m a chinese.so procrastinate can be my full name then.ok watever.i m talking crap now.

p.s. my arms are aching because i had to carry 2 dictionaries + 2 harry potters/university physics textbook(which is heavier than 4 harry potters) to sch and back today.and tomorrow i am playing badminton.nice one.

(blank)

exactly 24 hours more to the end of torture..but only 2 hours left until the 'last' hurdle..and i m dying..not because of lack of sleep and staying up the whole night..but because my mind now is like the title of this entry..good luck to me..

listening to: Chopin's Fantaisie-Impromptu