Random title because that is the line I m singing along to (小宇的一个光年的距离) as I was thinking about what title to give this post. Preparing for a coding technical test that I need to complete by today 5.54pm, I really don't know what I m feeling right now.
I want to pass it to prove that I can pass a coding technical test because I haven't passed one in my life up till now. I want to be given a choice to choose a job which is higher-paying. But I don't want to leave my comfort zone. I don't want to lead a stressful life. I don't want to push myself to learn new things everyday. I don't want to take the risk to leave a helpful and nice team and plunge myself into a 深渊.
But come to think of it, I am not thinking so deep actually. I am just purely unable to concentrate for so long on something so serious. I don't feel like working hard, because the harder I work, the more it shows that I care for it, and I have a feeling it won't turn out well anyway. Why make myself disappointed? But the thing is, I guess I already care about it a lot even if I am trying to tell myself I don't. What is this helpless feeling...
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