1 more day to...???

just less than 25 hours before my masters thesis oral and my mood is now in a mess. i feel like i m getting depression. crying for reasons i understand, but crying so hard. wanting to just let everything go. i know after some time when i read this i will probably just smile and think this is a small and unimportant event in my life, but right now i m just suffocating. there are so many things in this world worth doing, helping people and contributing to society, but i feel no urge and have no will to do it. i don't want to understand the world, understand the world around me, i just want to do what i feel like doing, just like a child. i just want to cry to my heart's content. i just want to...i don't even know what i want to do. in this city, most ppl are just living by going with the society's flow. i don't know if most ppl are happy, or just living by the day, living based on what the society expects of their roles. their roles as children, siblings, spouses, parents, employees, colleagues, bosses, friends, leaders, followers...