nearing the end of the sem soon.just like my brother said,uni life passes like nobody's business.i bet some time later i will be stepping out to the society to work.i've been too slack this sem.my bed is too nice.my com is too fun.my mind is too blank.it is too dark outside(meaning now because there's a storm outside and a thunder just made my heart skip a beat).
i have been too lax on myself.seeing what others can achieve and have achieved,i m ashamed of myself.but i can't bear to put stress on myself.i cannot discipline myself.i realise i cannot continue this but i can't seem to put a step forward in the other(and correct) direction.i feel unworhty of my blog title.每个选择路口，我都挑容易的走。maybe it's high time i shld choose the difficult but better road.2 more days for me to catch up wat i m supposed to catch up.i know it is not enough but i can only do wat i can do in this short time.
anyway wat inspired me to write this entry is my jc fren.she is going to publish her book in nov(not mentioning the title here unless my blog pops up in the search engine and gets found out by some frens).not really sure about the exact contents but it is about herself in her troubled times.she's a malaysian but came to singapore to study jc for 2 years.she was an excellent student but faced some troubles in the course of searching self and finding what her aim in life was.but now she is ok already.
perhaps everyone will feel unsure about oneself at some point in life.just that it might come at any time and for me it hasn't even come yet because i m so immature and lax on myself.i don't like to face reality.i don't like change.i don't like to have to work hard for something in case i cannot get it and feel disappointed.i don't want to feel happy so that i will not feel sad.i m like the rose in the song."afraid of dying" and thus "never learns to live".
ok enough of emoing.it's time to start proper on my studies and face the "reality" and walk down the road which might not be the most difficult but is certainly filled with uncertainties...
listening to: 很安静 by 飞轮海
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